Sex and the City 2 (2010) - Can't Stop the Movies
Can't Stop the Movies

Sex and the City 2 (2010)

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Andrew DISLIKEBrief admisssion - the first Sex and the City film wasn't so bad.  Yes it was boring, didn't really have much in the way of insights into modern city life, shuns character evolution as if it was leprosy, and had a pretty heteronormative view in terms of the sex.  Bottom line it wasn't anything, it wasn't even cotton candy, it existed on screen and then ended.  Now we have a sequel that posits, amongst other things, that women from the Middle East are really just Americans on the inside.

Oh yeah, I'm in good hands.

Part of the problem of reviewing new DVDs as they come out is that, in a few cases, months of critical buildup has taken hold and it can be hard to avoid.  What I'm trying to say is this - I probably stood no chance of enjoying this film.  Or finding anything socially redeeming about it.  Or holding myself steady trying not to punch the caricatures on  display.  Sex and the City 2 is that one film that can only be enjoyed by the rarest of people, the blind and mute quadriplegic.

That really limits the audience, especially since the only person I can think of off of the top of my head is the "hero" of Johnny Got His Gun.  Even then he could hear, and eventually found a way to communicate with the outside world.

Telling you "what" the horror is without explaining the "why" of the horror doesn't feel fair to those that may genuinely get some enjoyment from this and actually lack the qualifier of perpetual silent torment that I outlined above.  So the plot of Sex and the City 2 follows Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and the girls Charlotte (Kristin Davis), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), and Samantha (Kim Cattrall) as they have sex and discuss their married and single lives.

I'd like to tell you more about these characters, but five hours worth of film hasn't taught me anything more than the following.  Carrie hates gestures that involve cuddling and black and white films, preferring instead the cold touch of jewelry instead of the possibility of watching It Happened One Night again with her husband.  Charlotte is so shallow that she doesn't understand that hiring a biologically gifted nanny with huge talents might threaten her marriage.  Samantha apparently shakes like a jackhammer during sex and requires no megaphone to ensure everyone hears her "yes".  Then Miranda wins out because I'm having difficulty remembering anything about her.

This picture could use a lot more Hugo Weaving. Or even John Leguizamo. Then the dresses might make a lot more sense.

These are nasty people.  They lord themselves over everyone, especially the folks that are supposed to be their partners in their relationships, and don't seem to have half a mind between the four of them.  Then we're supposed to buy that someone finds Charlotte so enticing that an all expenses paid trip to the desert is needed.  Uh huh.  Then they offer such trenchant insights as "You've got a camel toe from the camel!".  Uh huh.  Then they strip in the middle of a crowded Arabian square to scream about women's rights and cleavage.  The two can be related, but I'm afraid that the context here doesn't quite drive the point home.

The best thing I can say about the sequel is that Candace Bergen wasn't in it.  She added a touch of wit and class during the three minutes she had onscreen in the first film and really didn't need to bother trying to class this one up.  Instead of Candace Bergen we get Liza Minelli, who is summoned primarily because of the concentrated energy of the gay wedding that kicks off the film.

How cute that they treat their gay friends almost like pets.  How absolutely delightful.  How wonderful that five hours of film can't advance a single character beyond their starting point.  How absolutely divine.  How great is it to live in a world where this gets to pass for harmless entertainment?  Just marvelous I tell you, marvelous.

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Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Written and Directed by Michael Patrick King.
Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kirstin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall.

Posted by Andrew

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