Suck (2009) - Can't Stop the Movies
Can't Stop the Movies

Suck (2009)

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Insert your own proctology joke here, I got nothing.

As a favor to both you and myself, I'll refrain from making a clever pun about the film's title. Suck is a vampire comedy written, directed and starting Rob Stefaniuk as Jeff, the head of struggling rock band and facing imminent failure when their bassist Jennifer (Jessica Paré) is bitten by a vampire. With their new vampire glam, Jeff's dreams of fame become a reality, but he has to contend with the rising body count and vampire hunter Eddie Van Helsing (Malcom McDowell).

Suck has a lot of fun with its subject matter, and at no point seems to take itself seriously. The vampire make-up is appropriately over-the-top, with most of the actors looking like rejects from Tim Burton's latest gothsploitation flick. The film doesn't exactly tread new ground with its “vampire can't stop eating people, hilarity ensues” premise, but the delivery is always fun and never feels boring or played-out.

I don't know, are you sure he's a vampire?

And don't let the whole “written/directed/staring” thing scare you off. While he does play one of the protagonists, Stefaniuk keeps his character far closer to the role of an “everyman” than a “Mary Sue.” His role as director/actor actually adds an interesting aspect to the story of a frontman who is struggling with being upstaged by his own band.

Suck boasts a lot of big-name rock cameos, but doesn't just throw them out as name-drops or punching bags like most recent comedies (I'm looking at you, Seltzer and Friedberg). The film has some fun by putting them in some decidedly non-stereotypical roles. Well, there is one big exception, but if you need someone to play the Devil in a rock 'n roll film who else are you going to get?

You know, if Ozzy's too busy.

Dave Foley also deserves a special mention. He only has a small part as Jeff, the band's slimy manager, but he manages to steal the spotlight in every scene.

If there's a low point to Suck, it's the musical bits which seem thrown in as an afterthought. This is fine for shots of the band performing on stage, but there are a few moments where a character will simply burst into song for a minute before transitioning to a different scene. It feels tacked on, and the songs themselves, while decent enough, lack that certain something that musical require; a sort of energy that makes people bursting into song seem natural.

Suck is stylish, funny and actually makes use of its star power, rather than just cash in on name recognition. It's rough around the edges, but deserves distinction for being a vampire comedy that actually doesn't suck.

Wait, does that count as a pun? Shit.

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Posted by Jacob

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