Sex Galaxy (2008) - Can't Stop the Movies
Can't Stop the Movies

Sex Galaxy (2008)

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What? I... what?

Let me try that again. Are women just objects? Are they nothing more than pretty things for men to ogle while they make numerous euphemisms, or not?

Is that attention getting? Am I resorting to rhetorical questions again? Is this movie mind numbingly terrible? Why, yes. Yes it is.

Sex Galaxy is a film that overdubs a number of washed out old science fiction films with new dialogue, and mixes the footage together with a couple of stag films to create something... that certainly is something. Repurposing the plot to a future where sex is outlawed, a trio of space plumbers solve a couple of issues and then land on a planet full of buxom seductresses.

Like Woody Allen's What's Up, Tiger Lily? or the TV show Sealab 2021, the dialogue is altered to comedic effect. Now the robot who inhabits the planet of buxom women is an angry pimp! The only black character in the film talks with Ebonics! Characters make innuendos over footage of women stripping!

Gentlemen, let us discuss our balls for thirty minutes. It will be... hilarious.

And that's about it, really. In Tiger Lily and Sealab, we see a silly plot brought to the forefront, and we have goofy characters with their own personalities to be amused by. Sex Galaxy ditches this, and instead simply has a trio of men talk about the joys of sex, erections, and vaginas.

It's extremely coarse to the point of banality; one hopes these unfunny riffs were created with the sole purpose of critiquing the male sex drive, but there's not much else in the film to support it. The the film quickly ramps up the inappropriate remarks, and soon we have a pair of astronauts flying through a literal field of shit while discussing womanly juices-- this lasts for about twenty minutes.

I'm unsure of the director's intentions in most of this, especially considering the ending's multiple double backs upon the film's themes. Is it about the inability to tame the male libido? Is it about women being forced into being either sex objects or just those who provide sex? Is it a long anti-religion screed that only becomes acknowledged at the very end? Or is it an ode to the sexuality of the sixties, and how perversion was more exciting because it was underground?

I don't know, and I hope I never know. There's a whole genre of filmmaker's who treasure the underground camp of 60's sex and the stag films that the makers of this movie rely upon for their titillation, and it's hard for me to understand the basis of the appeal. Good looking women naked and jumping around happily. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, there's just nothing to it.

The film is promoted on Netflix as a film culled entirely from stock footage. Well, that's a lie, since the director obviously took some shots with a plasticine-enhanced body double for one of the Sex Galaxy inhabitants, and we get a big ol' close up of her mammary glands every so often to drive the point home.

Nice gimmick, too bad it's not even true.

I've been careful not to name anyone who created this film, because it's so baseless in its creativity and uses only the footage one could find in ten minutes on, it doesn't look like more than an afternoon was put into the thing.

In fact, I can only sincerely hope that that's true.

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Posted by Danny

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  1. Tool, learn to laugh its healthy. Your a guy and you didn’t find any of this amusing? Guess someone had no guy friends in high school.

  2. I think he means that mindless titillation is…well…mindless, and that uninteresting characters talking about their balls for 30 minutes gets old fast because balls=funny becomes stupid and not that funny over the age of 14.

    But hey, if he thinks that, then that OBVIOUSLY means that he has no male friends and no sense of humor. Because that…makes…sense? No. No it doesn’t. Never mind.

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