Fun Size (2012) - Can't Stop the Movies
Can't Stop the Movies
29Oct/124

Fun Size (2012)

Danny no longer writes for Can't Stop the Movies, and can be reached at his fantastic site Pre-Code.com

You know what are awesome? Penises! Huge, erect penises!

In case  you're wondering where I'm going with this, most of the themes from Fun Size involve the use and abuse of sex as currency. Considering the day of the year when it's set, it's not super surprising, but it's still so poorly executed in the context of the undeniable horror of the holiday that it feels as utterly formless as the rest of the film.

You can tell Fun Size was focus grouped to death. Besides its sexual currency sugarcoating, we're working heavily in Pretty in Pink territory, where the cute girl has to choose between the sexy guy and super nerd. I'm going to guess that someone along the way noticed that the sexy guy was, oh, way, way more attractive than the nerd, and the movie had to cut the sexy man's part down to a minimum and add an indecent amount of narration in to make the nerdy guy even halfway appealing.

What this film feels like.

Any hopes for a female centric buddy comedy are quickly squashed, as Fun Size is much more interested in making our protagonist, Wren (Victoria Justice), the object of sexual bickering than dealing with her thought process in any mature manner. Her own plot line, which was presumably about wanting to get laid with the sexy guy and maturing into an adult, has been gutted, and we follow Wren chase her younger brother around and suddenly come to terms with her father's death. Because coming to terms with a loved one's death is as simple as starring blankly at someone and handing them your coat.

... not that Justice does much more in this movie but stare blankly. ANYWAY.

There are other characters (of course!). Wren's little brother, a mute troublemaker dressed as Spider-man, is the funniest part of the film as he becomes an act of spiritual vengeance against any threats to his friends or his own budding sexuality (yes, seriously). This charm evaporates once he turns chatty, which the movie unwisely uses as an extended coda to the film that, after a twenty minute-or-so denouement, is a tad excessive.

Wren's mom also gets her own plot line to get this sucker up to 90 minutes. She's played by Chelsea Handler, whose complete lack of emoting hasn't changed an iota from This Means War. Her mother character is dealing with her husband's death by becoming a crap parent and dating a twenty-year-old. She ditches her daughter and son to party with him, only to discover she no longer fits in with the hot, sexy young generation. It's good for about twenty minutes of cinematic white noise.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's also the nerdy guy, the nerdy guy's friend, and Wren's friend, April (Jane Levy). April at least has an attitude other than pathetic desperation, which is a nice change from the proceedings. The nerdy guys are both bland as crap, with the one Wren is eventually forced into copulating with so indescribably pathetic that it's no wonder this thing was hacked to pieces. The other one, who gets to stand up to a bully by shooting a musket at his drumstuck, eventually negotiates with April to cop a feel, which she agrees to reluctantly and eventually, like all 'females' would obviously do, enjoys it.

So that's what you get with Fun Size: male fantasy forced upon teenage women. Two of the final shots are erect phallic symbols, indicating triumph for the men, finally able to conquer those chatty vapid girls.

Fun Size is a colossal, unwieldy mess. There are a plethora of decent comedic ideas here, and each one gets glazed over in a haze of bad directing and editing. Director Josh Schwartz has an incredibly bland style and adds nothing to the proceedings. While the script (or what the viewer can make of it) seems punchy, it's assembled poorly, and looks worse.

It ain't worth it.

Posted by Danny

Comments (4) Trackbacks (0)
  1. I don’t dispense the “what were they thinking?” line that often, but I really don’t know what demographic they were trying to appeal to with Fun Size, because while it looks like they’re targeting the “tween” demographic, the film itself looks like it insults youth who don’t grow up too fast while simultaneous insulting their parents if they dare to not act like boring old people.

  2. Sorry I’m so late with this but, first off, thank you for covering last week with this and I’m sorry this is what you had to put yourself through. That said, it looks like it would make a horrible companion piece / double-feature with Project X.

  3. I enjoyed this movie. in fact I own the movie and a 3 year old child I babysat enjoyed this movie as well. I like it a lot and Victoria is beautiful.


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