Gangster Squad (2013) - Can't Stop the Movies
Can't Stop the Movies

Gangster Squad (2013)

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1Ryan // INDIFFERENT BannerSo I saw Gangster Squad and honestly, there is not much to say about the film. It was an ok film that should have been better with the cast and crew but was still not a horrible 2 hours.  Yet, there isn’t much to talk about the film at all. If you like gangster pictures, you will enjoy yourself but it isn’t a movie to spend much time talking about plot or meaning or anything in the sort the movie is what it is. In order for this review not to be 20 words long, I am going to put some questions I had for the film for everyone to think about. Enjoy a quick trip through the mind of a movie fan:

1. What the hell was wrong with Sean Penn’s face? I was trying to figure out why Penn’s face looked like it was melting off his face. His skin was very droopy, his eyes seemed to be sinking into his face and it looked like he has had a lot of years of hard living. Now I am not the biggest Penn fan so I don’t see a lot of his movies so I am wondering, what it some weird make-up job the film did or is his face slowly melting off like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? If it is not the former and it is the latter, he needs to get that shit fixed out ASAP because it ain’t right.

They forgot to assemble Sean Penn with the hard plastic instead of that stuff Robert Patrick is used to.

They forgot to assemble Sean Penn with the hard plastic instead of that stuff Robert Patrick is used to.

2. Staying on the Sean Penn train, his character of Mickey Cohen was one of the most violent villains I can think of. Any time one of his cronies messes up he is dispatched of very violently. It might be trapped in an elevator in a building that is about to be burned down or a person drilling into your head with a power drill, shooting the people is just too boring. My question is why would anyone work for this dude? If I was working for a place that kills you horribly after the first mistake, I would be looking for a new line of work the second I heard that. I would have to guess that turnover is really high in his outfit.

3. What was with the historical rewriting? Mickey Cohen was never convicted of any violent crime but was sent to jail TWICE on tax invasion charges so I was curious on how the Gangster Squad was going to “get the bad guy”. Apparently they just decided to say hell with it being “based on a true story” and arrest Cohen by shooting up a hotel and beating the ever loving snot out of him in the end. This is the kind of retelling history that bugs me. It is one thing for Inglorious Basterds to change the outcome of WWII because everyone knows the truth but people might leave this film thinking Mickey Cohen got what was coming to him, which is not the case at all. Cohen actually died peacefully of old age in the 1970s at home and that is the truth. The creators decided fiction was better and created a huge action scene that never happened. This was the biggest historical annoyance for me in this type of film since Kevin Costner threw Frank Nitty off the top of a building in the (much better) film The Untouchables.

At least this film knows how to make color pop.

At least this film knows how to make color pop.

4. Did Robert Patrick come from a better movie? Robert Patrick’s character of Max Kennard was a fast draw gunslinger cop with an awesome mustache. He also breathed life into the film whenever he was able to do something, which unfortunately wasn’t that often. I would have loved to seen a film with a guy who was born to live in the 1880s fight gangsters in the 1940s but alas this was not that film.

5. What happened to the charm that the main actors have? Josh Brolin was the best thing in the very enjoyable Men in Black III and Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone had wonderful chemistry in Crazy Stupid Love but none of them brought that charm to this film. Brolin is very serious and stout in this film and Gosling/Stone are devoid of any chemistry and seem like the only reason they are together is because the movie dictated it. When you get such good actors, USE them to their potential!

6. Why couldn’t this film be a sequel to Monster Squad? How awesome would that have been?

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Posted by Ryan

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