Can’t Stop the Hiatus (I know this better than anyone else)

I've gone on desperation and wedding hiatus before and, this time, it's for reasons less dire than the former but nowhere near as happy as the latter.

Something's gone out of me since I wrote about my abuse. I'm deeply disillusioned with my writing here and I haven't felt like watching, reading about, or writing thoughts on film for a while. After months of what felt like screaming in text equivalent how badly I needed help and receiving little more than boilerplate words from a depressingly large percentage of the folks I thought closest to, the whole notion of striking it out on my own has lost its ability to stir any kind of passion in me.

Instead, I'm going to be doing as much for-hire work as possible. Thank Doctors of Gaming for that and their continued actual financial support for my written labor. Writing within the restraints of someone else's review system has also gotten me to consider my words in different contexts and how to write for those formats.

I'm also continually moved by the number of people I've never met and only know me through my words or podcasting who have come forward to support me. No matter how small, it's all mattered. Even three dollars is a nice rice lunch during my financially strapped times. It's increasingly difficult to feel seen or heard in what often feel like apocalyptic times but even if the apocalypse is upon us (it's not) at least I can go out with a belly full of rice.

If you want to keep supporting me the best place to do so is my streaming platform on Twitch with Can't Stop the Kittens. I've got a M-F schedule worked out there but, as has been the case so often recently, my ongoing mental or physical health issues keep me from keeping it as consistently as I'm trying to. But I'll keep trying.

Things continue to be dire. Still haven't been able to afford my antidepressants or treatment, curiously strong new pains crop up a stones throw away from the kidneys, the kidneys themselves are ongoing disasters, I'm still $60k in medical debt, and blahdedy blahdedy on. I could spend more words on the already well-documented or get back to work on the stuff that's giving me direction and a hopeful bit of income.

So, back to work for me, and I hope to be back in the film reviewing mood soon.