Razzies Archives - Can't Stop the Movies
Can't Stop the Movies
13Jun/100

Inchon (1982)

Danny no longer writes for Can't Stop the Movies, and can be reached at his fantastic site Pre-Code.com

Danny INDIFFERENTThere are few genres as passe at the moment as the star-studded war picture. What thrived through the 50's and 60's from The Longest Day or The Guns of Navarone was topped by Saving Private Ryan and The Thin Red Line in the 90's and hasn't been seen since.

Unarguably the nadir of the genre is Inchon, a 1982 overview of the first half of the Korean War that takes us from a married couple's squabbles, two lovers torn apart, and, of course, the General's daring plan to retake the port of Inchon and drive the North Korean army back.

12Jun/100

Dirty Love (2007)

11Jun/100

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Danny no longer writes for Can't Stop the Movies, and can be reached at his fantastic site Pre-Code.com

Danny DISLIKEAndrew Dice Clay. Have you heard of this guy? Have you ever heard any of his stand-up? I haven't. Kinda glad about it.

Apparently he was a big deal back in the early 90's, and his stand-up was chock full of bad taste, misogyny, racism, and every slur someone says to shock themselves into stardom. Sometimes history is kinder on these people in retrospect, but considering the spectacularly unfunny Adventures of Ford Fairlane, his shtick is an embarrassing time capsule of terrible 80's and 90's humor that's almost painful to experience in it's thundering idiocy.

10Jun/100

Under the Cherry Moon (1986)

Danny no longer writes for Can't Stop the Movies, and can be reached at his fantastic site Pre-Code.com

Danny DISLIKEIt must be hard to explain how ubiquitous Prince was back in the early 1980's. A strange mix of what Wikipedia lists as "R&B, soul, funk, rock, blues, New Wave, psychedelia, folk, jazz and hip hop," he was one of the top artists in the country. In 1984, he starred in his first film, Purple Rain, that got him an Academy Award for best song and a hefty take at the box office as well.

Two years later and Prince has his pick of projects, so he packs off too France to film his own movie. He decides to go all out and make a black and white homage to slapstick, overwrought dramas, and throws in a lot of piano playing for good measure. This is a movie that begins with a frothy narration about love and Paris and glamor and ends with a dude wearing a sombrero and playing maracas in Heaven.

Uh, spoiler. Kinda. Though they actually kind of mention that in the opening narration, so I don't feel that bad about it.

21May/101

Ghosts Can’t Do It (1989)

Danny no longer writes for Can't Stop the Movies, and can be reached at his fantastic site Pre-Code.com

Danny DISLIKEHoly. Fuck.

In most narrative fiction, there is an immediate need to make your protagonists likable or sympathetic. Your character can have complicated motives or shady moral tendencies, but the audience should at least wish to invest itself into understanding the characters point of view.